Safety, Status, and Shared Goals
“Power isn't control at all, power is strength, and giving that strength to others.” - Beth Revis
What shifts when we see feedback not as critique, but as contribution to something we’re building together?
Recently, a seasoned leader shared a moment that caught them off guard. They had offered thoughtful, constructive feedback to an acting senior leader from another department on a joint project their departments were working on. Despite the intent being generous and focused, the acting leader responded: “I don’t feel psychologically safe hearing that.”
The project, complex and high-stakes, hinged on their collaboration, yet this moment introduced a subtle tension.
This isn’t just about delivering feedback; it’s about navigating the invisible currents of status, belonging, and shared ownership. Sometimes, even the most well-intentioned guidance can stir something deeper, especially when someone is in an acting role with visibility but without permanence.
And sometimes, even when the feedback is clear, kind, and grounded, the other person simply isn’t in a place to receive it.
That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t offer feedback. It means we might also need to broaden our lens. What’s happening in the work and between the roles can quietly shape how things land.
So what might support moments like this?
Here are a few invitations to consider:
Name your intention, not just your observation. Before offering feedback, try sharing why it matters. “I’m sharing this because I think there is potential to support one another…,” creates a different opening than “Here’s what needs to change.”
Notice timing. Evidence suggests people are more open to feedback when emotional and cognitive load is lower. A simple, “Would this be a good time for a quick check-in?” offers care without backing away from clarity.
Make room for response. If feedback isn’t received well, try not to rush to justify or withdraw. A soft question such as, “I noticed that didn’t sit well. Would it help to pause and revisit later?” can create space to repair or reset.
Hold both truths. It’s possible that your feedback was offered thoughtfully and that it felt hard to hear. Both can be true. This isn’t a failure, it’s a moment of shared complexity.
Feedback across departments isn’t just about clarity, it’s about relationship. And when we remember that understanding takes two willing participants, we offer not only insight, but humanity.
You might consider this question the next time feedback doesn’t seem to land: Was it the content, the context, or the conditions? Let that reflection guide your next step, not as a correction, but as an invitation.
With understanding,
Maria
Sources:
Fyfe, E. R., DeCaro, M. S., & Rittle-Johnson, B. (2015). When feedback is cognitively-demanding: The importance of working memory capacity. Instructional Science, 43(1), 73–91.
Kolbe, M., Eppich, W., Rudolph, J., Meguerdichian, M., Catena, H., Cripps, A., Grant, V., & Cheng, A. (2020). Managing psychological safety in debriefings: a dynamic balancing act. BMJ simulation & technology enhanced learning, 6(3), 164–171.
Grailey, K. E., Murray, E., Reader, T., & Brett, S. J. (2021). The presence and potential impact of psychological safety in the healthcare setting: an evidence synthesis. BMC health services research, 21(1), 773.
Taxipulati, S. & Lu Hai-Dong. (2021). The Influence of Feedback Content and Feedback Time on Multimedia Learning Achievement of College Students and Its Mechanism. Frontiers in Psychology, 12.
