The Real Engagement Gap

“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” - Esther Perel

What if engagement isn’t a performance problem, but a relational one?

We talk about engagement like it’s a metric to be managed. Often, we treat it like something that can be fixed with better strategy, sharper messaging, or smarter tech.

But strategy doesn’t work when people feel disconnected. Messaging doesn’t land when people feel misunderstood. And performance tools don’t spark creativity when trust is low.

In reality, engagement often breaks down for a much more human reason: people stop seeing each other.

A 2024 study* of over 1,500 leaders and knowledge workers revealed something telling:

• 70% say people don’t know how to listen to those they disagree with

• 63% say projects derail because of assumptions

• 57% say blame outweighs problem-solving

That’s not a strategy gap.

It’s a relational one.

When people feel unseen or unacknowledged, they don’t rebel, they protect. They pull back. And with them goes their energy, creativity, and ownership.

It’s not that people hate work. It’s that they hate feeling invisible in it.

If we want to re-ignite engagement, we need to rebuild what makes work work, our relationships.

And that can start in the simplest of places.

Humanizing the hallway.

Engagement doesn’t just live in town halls or performance reviews, it lives in the in-between moments. The unscheduled pauses. The casual check-ins. The walk to the elevator or the chat before a meeting starts.

These are the moments where connection is built, or missed.

When we make space for genuine, unpolished connection, they send a signal, “You’re more than your role. I see you.”

It doesn’t have to be big. But it does have to be human. Because when we start seeing each other again, work begins to work again. 

With understanding,

Maria

*Box of Crayons/Harris Pool (2024). Navigating a Fractured Workplace.